Day 131: In Remembrance.

What the hell have I been doing?

I remember now.
That morning back in June, at the end of it all, as I walked away from the house for the final time, I knew what I needed to do. It was the same as when it ended with Jacelyn. I needed to grow; to improve; to become a human being that was more than a waste of a breath to name. I was close. I knew I had to be close. But I wasn't there yet. I didn't get it, it wasn't clicking, something had to change.

I had to be a better man.

And I remember now all of that.

Funny how that happens. The beginnings of attraction (or Love, if you take Stendhal's definition) make you remember all the reasons you've ever loved to begin with.

I think I believe that loving is a key foundation of humanity. A human without love is not a human at all.

And I haven't been very human lately.