Day 3: That which I no longer believe

“Rejection is God's protection.”

BLEGH
Really now? This deserves a spoiler warning.

SPOILER WARNING

If you believe in “The One” that you are destined to marry from birth determined by whatever god you may worship, or if you believe in the God of American Christianity as presented by the pastor of your congregation, you’re very likely to be offended, potentially strongly offended, by what I’m about to say, because to some it could be considered heretical in some circles, but I hardly think so.

END SPOILER... and let the fun begin

Rejection is God’s protection. Saw that on my Facebook wall, and I laughed. Really. It was posted by a girl, which really means nothing in the long run, but I thought it’d be nice to mention. Girls traditionally are usually the ones rejecting the guy, not the other way around, so by simply making the statement, she’s basically saying that God is using her saying “No” to a guy as a way to protect him. Because we all know that girls are perfect angels and God uses them to keep men’s hearts from going astray. Just... no.

Second, that’s assuming that it is God’s will for the girl to say no. I’d have a hard time arguing that it isn’t God’s PERMISSIVE will, meaning he allows a girl to say no if she wants to say no (we do have Free Will, despite what Calvin said). Is it God’s PERFECT will? Who knows? I certainly don’t. I don’t even know if God really cares who we date and/or marry so long as they’re Christian (the unequally yoked verse everyone likes to quote). I do however think it is rather prideful to say that God is using your decision of yea or nay to protect a boy’s heart. I hardly think that saying no to a date is in any way a protection of the kids heart.

Think about it.

You say no. You either delay or ensure that a relationship between the two of you will never happen, which means that the possibility of a bad relationship and/or breakup that hurts him is greatly reduced or completely eradicated. Congratulations, you have made a choice. It sure looks like you’ve done a great deed at this point, and you did it while being selfish, so what you wanted actually seems like the right decision. Love those feelings, because the world gets to revolve around you and thats the way its supposed to be, right? Besides, if you’re saving him from a bad relationship, what does that say about you? It implies that if you say yes, you’ll mess up his life. Just something to think about.

Look, I’m a guy, and I’m gonna level with you. If it’s not you this month, it’s somebody else next month. It’s not exactly the most invigorating thing to get turned down either. As a guy who’s currently running a streak of 10 straight rejections dating to June 23rd, 2008 (who’s counting? I know), it starts to add up after a while. And yes, that may be part of the reason the statement “God’s protection” drew so much ire from me. But seriously, as a man who doesn’t believe in any “One” other than the one I’ll marry, saying that I’m protected so I’ll have more to give my future wife down the line that God has set aside for me does absolutely zero, namely because all I have is my word. I don’t really want to get into the whole One discussion because it’s a can of worms in and of itself. Just let it be known, saying you’re saving me from heartbreak means about as much as soccer to a man with no legs (and I do not mean to poke fun at people with physical disabilities, I’m just driving a point home).

Obviously there are the jerks who you have a legitimate reason to say no to. And if you’re not really attracted to a guy, then saying yes is giving him false hope. Don’t walk away from this and think I’m saying you have to say yes to every guy, or most guys, or whatever stipulation you want to put on that. However, I think it’s prideful, and borderline heretical and un-Biblical to say that your decision to say no is God working through you to protect that person. You are a human being as much as they are. Say no. By all means, say no. Just don’t try to justify it by bringing God into it. That’s not needed, nor is it really kosher. If anything, bringing God into the reason you say no will make the guy more bitter, towards you AND God.


Next week I may tackle THE ONE.

NEO! wait......


*end transmission*