There's this cycle that is my love life, and it goes as follows. Know girl --> Become close friends with girl --> start to like girl --> admit feelings for girl/ask her out --> Be given a reason as to she can't with me, or anyone else --> a week or so later, find out that reason was complete and utter birdseed, usually when she starts going with another guy or tries to anyways. It's one lie after another. Every time. I don't know where humanity got this idea that telling the lie helps guard people from pain, but it's pretty obvious you're lying when it's all over facebook.
Now the cycle has varied in the past, but never successfully. But of course being the guy I am I don't name names.
However, the cycle has not repeated itself in the latest situation, and to make it worse the other guy happens to be a good friend. So I've kept my mouth shut and tried not to get in the way. But it's not helping at all, because it's a test of whether or not I can still be a friend if I feel betrayed. And as much as I hate it, something's changed, and I don't know what.
"Referred pain" is a term used to describe a situation where you have an injury on your hand, but instead of feeling pain there, you feel pain in some other place, like your shoulder, even though it's probably perfectly healthy. I don't know if it works exactly with emotional --> physical pain, but lately I've had a randomly horrible toothache, even though I have no real tooth problem. I only have this mystery tooth ache when it really bothers me or I'm really upset. And that's almost 100% when I'm talking to them or thinking about it. I've done my best to try and keep quiet about this, and I've certainly had my fair chances to vent at her, but I refuse to do it because I know no good will come of it.
It just makes it so hard to feel God when I feel so unholy.
Soli Deo Gloria
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